Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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