Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Be still, my beating vagina.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
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