I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
