She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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