I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
