dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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