my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
