Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
