this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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