When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
