I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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