C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
