Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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