people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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