"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
