Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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