he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
