after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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