i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
