You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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