lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
