Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
