Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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