if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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