forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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