It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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