if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
