After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Come share oat with me in your robe
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
