the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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