I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
