I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
