thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
