My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
It's rum buckets o'clock
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
