We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
