oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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