Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
