You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
