I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
