That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
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