we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
