His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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