Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
