I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
