wake up i wanna do it froggy style
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
