My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Holy shit dude........stairs
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
