This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
