so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
