if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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