i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I intend to get homeless drunk
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
