I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
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