God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
we're so committed to being not committed
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
