she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
